It Was a Good Day Until It Wasn't Anymore

Dear Grammie,

Kaboodle took me to see Avatar today and then out for Thai food. It was wonderful until everyone got attitude. Mum called about a house and she called way too many times and Kaboodle said that Mum was acting like a jealous/abusive husband always having to know where I am and what I'm doing. It makes me feel like barfing because it's kind of true and now I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't stay here and I don't know if I dare go.

I feel like crying and just crawling into bed and not getting out...ever. I feel like everyone is using me for whatever they want. It's like I'm caught in a power struggle between Kaboodle and Mum and I don't like it! I want to be free of all this bullshit that surrounds me and is constantly invading my life.

What do I want?

I want my own small house fixed the way I like it and want it.

I want a small yard for my dogs.

I want my own bank account with no one interfering.

I want a small car that works well and can sit in the garage when I'm not using it.

I want to be able to write when I want to write.

I want to live my own life and not someone else's life.

I want peace and routine without disruptions constantly.

I want NO drama whatsoever in my life.

I want no one trying to manipulate me or guilt me into anything.

I want NO strings attached to things "given" to me.


That's what I want, Grammie. I just don't know how to get it. I keep praying for a pandemic, but it's just not happening. Did you ever wonder why I loved movies that depicted the end of the world as we know it? I love them so much because they put an end to all the noise and bullshit of this world and leave quiet and peace. No one wanting you to go here or do that or HURRY UP AND DECIDE or blah blah blah blah blah. I am so incredibly sick of everyone else's demands on my time and my peace. I'm not anyone's property and I'll thank everyone to remember that.

You need me? Call once...ONCE...and leave a message. If I don't get back to you right away, that means I'm busy. Stop calling and making a huge fuss when whatever is so damn important will turn into a big, fat nothing anyway. "Oh we have GOT to SEE this house!" After we see it Mum won't want it for some stupid, piddling little reason anyway. It's not like she's going to be living there full-time anyway. I just don't understand. I suppose if she reads this I'll get some long, rambling email detailing every little flaw with every house we've looked at and I don't want that. It's just annoying.

There, done venting. I'm sad too because I liked the little 6th street house. I liked the north side house too. I suppose I'll get stuck in some house that I don't really like and that has a dumb layout and is stuck in a neighborhood that I don't really like just because it has "the work done already" or is "the most house for the money". I guess I'm just glad that I might finally have a small house to call my own. Gift horses and all that.

I think I'm just feeling hopeless and depressed.

Thank you for listening Grammie and I miss you even more than I did before.


Love you always,
Kit

Kaboodle Pulls a Flo

Dear Grammie,

We were hanging out watching "The Munsters" tonight when the power went off. We went and sat out in the living room with Doodle and goofed around a little bit. Kaboodle was talking to Doodle and kept cocking her head. Suddenly Kaboodle says, "Oh, that was a big cock!"

Naturally, I practically wet my pants laughing. Seems Doodle really cocked her head at something. You would've laughed and laughed too, Grammie. It was hilarious.

I miss you.


Love you always,
Kit

Almost Every Time

Dear Grammie,

Almost every time I think Kaboodle and I can work it out something is said or happens that slaps me in the face.

It breaks my heart.

Tonight I said that I wished Kaboodle wouldn't yell at Peanut (or any of the other animals for that matter) and she snips at me, "Well you spoil the p*ss out of her!" What, may I ask, has that got to do with her always yelling at the animals? Yes, I spoil Peanut, and I spoil the other animals too. I don't yell at them because I spoil them. I don't understand the relationship between the two statements.

Frankly, I'm tired of the yelling, I'm tired of the disagreements (I seem to be wrong all the time) and I'm tired of the profanity and casual vulgarity. Language is poetry.

It makes me sad and distresses me. I'll have to write more later because I'm too upset to think clearly.

I miss you, Grammie.

Love you always,
Kit

Giant Updates

Dear Grammie,

Sorry it has been so long since I've written. Things have been happening so quickly around here that I just haven't had a chance to sit down and write. Not sure where to begin, either so it may be a little rambling.

As you know, I've been house-hunting. I've made offers on two houses and both times the deals have fell through. It varies as to why, but maybe I'm not supposed to move. I'm starting to wonder.

We've cancelled our DirecTV. I'm so sick of endless commercials that I don't even want to watch broadcast television anymore. We got Netflix now and we watch the streaming service. I love it! Sure the choices aren't as wide as I'd like, but I've found plenty to watch and it's all commercial free!! Whoohooo!

Winter finally arrived with gusto. It's currently -2ºF outside right now. Peanut has been such a good little girl about going outside to potty. I left her free in the TV Room last night when I went to bed. She was curled up in her dog bed sleeping. She went the whole night without having to go potty and there were no accidents. I'm so proud.

That's weird...my computer just made a rooster sound. What the hell? I guess I'll investigate later.

I had something wrong with my eye yesterday and went to the Clinic where you used to work and saw a doctor there. She said she was sorry to hear that you had passed away. It made me miss you even worse than before. I remember going up there with you when I was a little kid. This sucks, Grammie. I miss you so much.

I think I'd better sign off for now because I'm getting all choked up.

I miss you Grammie!


Love you always,
Kit