Catch Up

 

Dear Grammie,

 

It's been several months since I've written. I'm considering taking this blog down and continuing the journal to you offline. I'm not sure it would feel the same. I know it's probably not possible, but when I put it out there it's almost like you may have a chance to read it. Stupid and illogical, but I can't help it.

We had some very nice weather several weeks ago. You would've loved it. Everything was melting so nicely. Peanut was all happy to lay in the sun. She was less thrilled with going for walks. She went anyway. Doodle always loves walks.

I'm considering going off my antidepressant. It's like I'm numb when I'm on it. Everything is pretty much fine. I only  have blips of feelings that pretty much dissipate a few minutes after feeling them. It's disturbing. I used to draw so much creative energy from my feelings and now there's just not enough. My well has dried up. I don't like the chaos, but I don't like being able to feel anything either. Well, not feel enough. I want to either feel it all, or feel nothing - just not little blips here and there.

I guess I'll think about this blog for awhile yet. Not sure what I'm going to do with it.

I miss you every day.

 

Love you always,

Kit