Heartbreak

Dear Grammie,

I was updating Mum's computer tonight after our small birthday celebration and I opened her iPhoto for some reason and there was your picture. I looked at all the pictures of you and I could hardly breathe. My heart was heavy in my chest. I can't believe you're gone. Seeing you and me in your house was almost too much to bear. I can't think of you as gone for the rest of my life. I have to think of you as on a long vacation somewhere without postal service or telephones. I don't think my mind or heart could stand to think of it as anything else.

I'm going to look at headstones for you tomorrow. How morbid is that? Pretty morbid, considering I can't think of you as deceased. I know you're gone in my head, but my heart can't think of you that way.

Crap, this stinks.

I miss you something awful, Grammie.


Love you always,
Kit